Friday, September 5, 2008

The Sault Star ~ Fathers 4 Justice sets up chapter in Sault

Fathers 4 Justice sets up chapter in Sault

A lot of dads beaten down by the system -- local father

Posted By CORINA MILIC, THE SAULT STAR

When his ex-wife accused him of abuse, stay-at-home dad Mike Murphy knew gaining custody of his 10-and 13-year-old daughters would be almost impossible


"You're automatically an evil, hateful, abuser. People believe it, absolutely, unequivocally and you're toast, I'm toast," said Murphy, who insisted no evidence of actual abuse has ever been proven in three years of courtroom custody battles.

The current family law practice of doing what is in "the best interest of the child" really only serves the best interest of the mother, argued Murphy.


"We hear a lot about dead beat dads, but a lot of these so-called dead beat dads have been beaten down by the system," he said.

Murphy spent Thursday morning outside the court house on Queen Street protesting that system. Along with fellow dad Steven Plastino, he started a local chapter of Fathers 4 Justice earlier this week. The international organization aims to make shared and equal custody a presumption in law. That means mom wouldn't get first dibs on the kids; parents would automatically get joint custody in most cases.

Under the current system, joint custody doesn't guarantee anything, said Plastino. After the first two years of a 10-year battle, Plastino received joint custody of his children. Then his wife moved to St. Catharines and took their boys with her, he said. She moved at least seven times over the next several years, according to Plastino, making it impossible for him to fulfill his joint custody requirements of caring for the children at least 40 per cent of the time.

"It's completely alienated us," he said. "It was a completely kangaroo court the way I see it -- as soon as I walked in there, I was fighting a losing battle to get access to my kids."

The men said they have both suffered from "parental alienation" - their ex-wives turning the children against them. While Murphy said he is slowly rebuilding his relationship with his girls, Plastino said he has not seen his sons in seven years.

Fathers 4 Justice is made up of men in similar situations and women who have been affected by those situations, usually paternal grandmothers, aunts and sisters.Group members often don superhero costumes and illegally hangbanners from buildings, bridges and even cranes to get their point across.

The organization is currently on a cross-country campaign promoting its cause. The tour ends in Ottawa Oct. 7 in support of a private member's bill set for motion that day.

MP Maurice Vellacott for Saskatoon- Wanuskewin plans to put forward a divorce law amendment for equal parenting, but with what looks like an election just around the corner, it's doubtful he will get the chance. "If Mr. Vellacott gets re-elected, he'll bring it forward again. We'll just have to be patient and we are very patient," said Murphy.

The idea of men's rights doesn't sit well with some. Murphy said the local F4J chapter has already been targeted. A group of hackers claiming to be "man-hating women" busted onto the newly created f4j-soo.blogspot.com site, rigging an online poll. The poll's question, "Do you believe in equal and shared parenting as a presumption in law?" offered several tongue-in-cheek answers. Murphy claims the hackers spent over 22 hours voting for answer 4, "No. Men are innately incapable of such responsibility."

Several anonymous comments were also posted on the blog, demanding no fathers should be near their children.

"Men are inherently violent and irresponsible people," one poster wrote. Another wrote, "I hope rights for fathers are further stripped away. . . . Do you want dads out there diddling their kids? I didn't think so."

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Steve's perverted view of what will happen to the so-called "hackers":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gh479t5itg

Anonymous said...

I am appalled that women will stoop to such abhorrent behaviour. This behaviour has its roots in their prepubescent and teenage years where they quickly learn to use non-physical aggression. Women do tend to be very mean to each other but imagine a scenario where they team up to target their partners. This is actually happening. In a city like Sault Ste Marie, gossip no matter how true, is used to weaken their opponent at the outset. Shock and awe is their game....for a lot of men it still isn't working. As there are lots of men who are caught in the parental alienation cycle, we need to be just as studious as the women are. Women are shown to be more intelligent in specific ways, and they are the first to "get into the books" and we men need to be just as studious. This is the only way that we can prevail. It's unfortunate that in family law situations, the word "prevail" has to be used but most of the women I have had the misfortune of encountering see divorce as an "I win, you lose, you pay" scenario. This has to stop and will stop if and only if men stand up to this.

Anonymous said...

After going through the court system two years ago and fighting to get visitation rights for my son Kyran, I am so very happy this has come to Sault Ste Marie. When I was struggling through things, I did look online to try to find support groups for fathers. Google searches only turned up support groups for women. The 'system' we have today allows mothers to turn the father of their children into nothing more than a pay check and has no regard whatsoever for rights of the father to see his kids, or the kids to see their dad. I eventually gave up all rights after fighting in court and bankrupting myself with nothing more than a useless court order (which she was able to completely ignore) to show for it. I think if this group had have been around two years ago, it may have been different. I look forward to seeing if I can assist in any way with the group.

Michael J. Murphy said...

Kevin:

I haven't yet started a regular monthly meeting but will when member numbers increase from the current amount. We are not a support group but focus on direct non violent action and sometimes Civil Disobediance.

I will likely be found at the courthouse most motion Thursdays (unless I'm actually having to defend a motion) and then I will be right in the courtroom. Motions usually start at 10:00 so I will likely be outside in a purple F4J t-shirt near one of the three entrances at 9:40-9:45 or so.

If you are able drop over - email first to ensure I'm going to be outside - and then we can chat.

I do know that my $20.00 membership fee is being well spent in terms of our advocacy and creating awareness of the plight of men in the family court system. You might want to consider buying a membership and even if you don't participate others, such as myself, will until the courts rule otherwise.

As long as we are men and want to have other children, even if marrying into them, we need to change the system or we will be subject to the misandry going on in family court for much longer.

Email me below and I will send some info off to you.

Best wishes

Mike Murphy
Coordinator, F4J Sault Ste. Marie
http://f4j-soo.blogspot.com/
f4j.sault.ste.marie@gmail.com

The work of Fathers 4 Justice and the Pain of Fathers ~ Activism in the UK

Equal and Shared Parenting ~ The Movie