Tuesday, May 26, 2009

In Sault Ste. Marie, ON Some Domestic Violence Supplemental Information for the Editor

The Editor, The Sault Star
145 Old Garden River Rd.
Sault Ste. Marie, ON P6A 5M5

Re: Ashley Caputo Letter Saturday, May 23, 2009 Help Prevent Abuse Of Women

Ashley has done a good job of researching issues related to a single gender in the realm of Domestic Violence (DV). She is to be congratulated for her efforts. I want to advise there is further information on this serious issue but it involves two genders. In Canada, as it is in most western democracies, DV is pretty much equal between genders. Statistics Canada reports in "Family violence in Canada: A statistical profile, 2005" An estimated 7% of women and 6% of men representing 653,000 women and 546,000 men in a current or previous spousal relationship encountered spousal violence during the five years up to and including 2004.


Police reported violence is only the tip of a very large iceberg. Men only report about 10% of the time and so they do not appear in overwhelming numbers in these statistics. They do not report for a variety of reasons related to social mores. Men are socialized to "suck it up". After all we are "manly" men. In many cases, where mandatory arrest policies exist, the police will arrest the man if the woman makes false accusations which are pretty common even though she started the dispute. In one study conducted by the Centre for Disease Control it found 71% of the instigators of a physical dispute were females.

Christina Hoff Sommers, author of "Who Stole Feminism" published in 1994 said in a recent lecture in January 2009, "The dominant philosophy of today's women's movement is not equity feminism--but "victim feminism." "Victim" feminists don't want to hear about the ways in which women have succeeded. They want to focus on and often invent new ways and perspectives in which women can be regarded as oppressed and subordinated to men."

Our daughters and sons are being taught this kind of mythology and one sidedness. Both men and women can be victims and a new paradigm is needed in order to come to grips with treating it properly. It needs family intervention not a one gender approach. I have experienced emotional, financial and physical abuse. Many of you know me and realize I am not a 99 lb weakling, a shrinking violet or overly shy and introverted. My book when published will chronicle instances of female on male abuse and start with the following which is only one of many instances of abuse my research and experience has uncovered. Emotional abuse can be just as devastating as physical abuse but the irony is the scars can last a lifetime.

"What if… your best friend, life partner, lover, wife and soul mate committed theft, fraud and forgery against your former employer?

What if … the partner causes you the worst humiliation in your life and loss of career …

Michael Murphy

The letter to the editor which initiated my response is as follows:

Help prevent abuse of women

According to the report Family Violence in Canada: A Statistical Profile

(2008), there were more than 38,000 incidents of spousal violence reported to police in 2006. Of these, 83 per cent of victims were female and 61 per cent were assaulted by a current or ex-spouse.

Abuse can happen to women of all backgrounds, regardless of education, race, religion or social status.

Clearly, abuse of women is a serious, ongoing societal issue.

While doing research for a class assignment about woman abuse, I discovered an excellent resource, Neighbours, Friends and Families. It is an Ontario public awareness initiative that educates the community about the signs of woman abuse and encourages those close to a victim or abuser to help.

In addition to outlining signs of abuse, it provides practical information about safety planning and recommends helpful community resources for both victims and perpetrators.

Even though many health-care providers are trained to screen women for past or present abuse, the first ones to notice a problem may be the woman's family or friends. They can support her by listening and by helping to increase her safety and the safety of her children.

Everyone in the community has a role to play in helping to prevent the abuse of women.

Visit www.neighboursfriendsandfamilies.ca for more information.

Ashley C.


For some, Father's Day is a sad and bitter occasion

This is from a 2008 column but deserves republishing as Father's Day 2009 rapidly bears down on the father's marginalized by Family Law (FLAW). It is written with a passion only a man impacted by the nefarious foulness of a system designed to place biological dads into a wasteland created by thoughtless and perfidious idolization of mythologies created by victim feminists and acted upon by dutiful robotic drones called judges who have to be incompetent for they have failed miserably in acting on the "best interests" of children. Our jails and social order are profoundly telling us our children are in need. They need their fathers - it so simple but yet so startling invisible to those who can make a difference.MJM

By David Warren, Ottawa Citizen
Published: Sunday, June 15, 2008

Father's day can be a lonely and bitter time for those dads
who have been separated from their children.
Photograph by: Photo.com

For some tens of thousands of fathers, in your Canadian province alone, "Father's Day" is an especially bitter occasion. These are the men separated from their children by court order, many never to see them again. Each knows that his children have been subjected to vicious propaganda against him, that in many cases a child's own mother -- a woman the father once trusted enough to marry -- has turned the child's heart against him. (I know of many cases.)

It could be worse: for the father may have been replaced in his own household by a new man, or even a new woman. Someone who will never care for his children as he did, however badly he may have expressed it; who will at least be lacking the biological compulsion to look out for one's own flesh and blood.

In a further twist, whether or not mom has found a new squeeze, the ostracized dad may be making court-ordered spousal support payments sufficiently onerous to put him on a cot in some closet -- hounded by process servers, and under the threat of jail if his payments fall behind. (I know this experience at first hand.)

There is no cure for it. The legal papers make clear -- go to lengths to make clear -- that he will be hounded until the day he dies. Male suicide rates, not only in this province but across North America, are at their highest level since the depth of the Depression in the 1930s. They are four times higher than the female suicide rate, and while no government has the guts to gather statistics on this, it is an easy guess that family court disasters lie behind a large proportion of them.

The legacy of feminism has been to make us acutely aware of women's sensibilities, no matter how frivolous; and obtusely indifferent to men's, no matter how grave. Men are consistently demonized in the feminist propaganda, women consistently presented as victims, in defiance of the facts of human nature, which show the capacity for evil to be well-distributed. Under the pressure of feminist lobbying, our entire family law system has been skewed so that the man almost invariably pays, the woman almost invariably collects, regardless of the circumstances. Only in the most extraordinary cases is the man granted custody of the children, or even equal access.

The keystone of the feminist order is "domestic violence." Men are so universally presented as having "anger management issues," that even in the extreme case, where a woman has murdered her husband, the court will invite feminist "experts" to argue that the man must have deserved it. And the man in this scene is unable to defend his own posthumous reputation, for dead men tell no tales.

The statistics show domestic violence to be well-distributed between the sexes, although there are knots and wrinkles before we get to that result. For instance, men are actually more likely to physically bully and abuse women than vice versa (on the average, women are physically smaller). On the other hand, women are more likely to physically bully and abuse children and the elderly (who are smaller and weaker than they).

And there can be no justice, no approximation to justice, unless each charge is considered on its merits, free of malicious, "politically correct" ideology.

I hold no brief for men, or women. They are absolutely necessary to each other, and on their mutual sympathy the future of every society depends. Very few men or women are saints. By no means is any father, who has fallen afoul of, say, Ontario's Kafkaesque "Family Responsibility Office" entirely innocent. At the very least he exercised poor judgment in his selection of a mate.

But men are not exceptionally evil, nor women neither. Some of each are monsters, in their several ways.

All are subject to temptations, and our skewed family law has the effect of putting so many temptations in the way of women, that many fail to resist. Not because they are women, but because of skewed law, many women employ the dirty tactic of laying false charges that, under our present order, will immediately get them custody and whatever else they may

want -- with little risk of punishment, even if they are caught lying. This simply stands to reason.

Indeed, the removal of common sense from family law -- and its replacement, over the last two generations, with various feminist mantras -- has made this problem almost impossible to fix. For the debate is now inevitably over, "How much feminism is the right amount?"

Whereas, there is no "right amount" of feminism, if feminism has become a hateful ideology declaring that the interests of one class (women) take priority over the interests of another (men).

To those fathers who had the wisdom to marry good women, and who wake this morning to the joy reflected in the face of each beloved child: You have your reward, and it is very beautiful. Join us now in praying for all the others.

The work of Fathers 4 Justice and the Pain of Fathers ~ Activism in the UK

Equal and Shared Parenting ~ The Movie